The best time to keep dating is when you find yourself falling in love with one man. Seem like a contradiction? It’s not when you learn the rules for getting the love you want.

Say you think you’ve found “the one”. You’re attracted to him, you enjoy each other’s company, you’re compatible, and you even like each other’s quirks. You should pull the plug on your profile and stop communicating with other men, right? Wrong.

Devoting all your time and attention to any one man before he asks for the commitment you want can actually slow the process down. This is because men approach commitment differently than we do. It’s easy for us to imagine the wedding dress and to scribble his last name next to yoursimagine the benefits of a relationship. But men normally take a bit of time to come to a conclusion about where a relationship is headed. Remember, he has to “fall” in love with you.

And the best way to help him do that – and make sure you take the time YOU need to make a sound decision about him – is to keep dating other men. When a man can’t take you for granted because he sees you’re keeping busy and not putting all your hopes in him, it motivates him to move closer to you. It creates the need for him to “win” you all to himself. That’s when he’ll ask you for commitment – when he can’t stand the thought of you being with anyone else.

So how do you keep dating other men while keeping your sanity? The good news is that with eHarmony you’re presented with a bunch of matches – so get the most out of your subscription by meeting as many of your matches as you can. Then just follow my two rules: keep your options open and keep the focus on you.

Keeping Your Options Open

By dating I mean continue to flirt with men and accept invitations to meet for coffee or have dinner.

Doing this turns dating into a fun, worthwhile experience that lets you figure out what kind of partner you’re looking for. Every man you meet is a gift that allows you to learn about yourself and discover what you want – and don’t want – out of a relationship.